Final papers are done. A short essay and an annotated bibliography are all that is left for the next few days. In a week, I'll be in Jerusalem. It's hard to believe that so much has happened and so much time has gone by so fast.
This entire past year has been full of new experiences, realizations, ups and downs, and hard work. Just for fun, the year in brief:
January: I frantically finished the first (ever!) final papers I didn't get turned in on time and needed to request extensions. I was on the "moving forward and up" out of a pretty low point in life. Three weeks in Guyana for J-term, me and four guys. What an experience. Reverse culture shock left me dazed and confused for several weeks. The first morning back in my Dubuque bed I woke up going, "Why am I so #*@& cold?!" before I opened my eyes to the reality that it was below zero instead of cooling off to 85 at night.
February: Back to school. Back to work at Haywire. Trying to deal with the ups and downs and being somewhat more willing to talk about it with others. Making plans for a possible year in Germany while at the same time making sure I had everything in order in the event that Germany plans did not work out. Looking toward a summer of CPE.
March and April: School and work. Back into the routine. Spending lots and lots of time with Iga and loving it!
May: Finish up classes. Everything on time this semester. Relatively happy with grades, with the exception of Hebrew because I goofed around and had fun on an exam instead of taking it as seriously as I could have. It was worth it. Somewhere around the second week of the month, I took an unplanned dismount off a horse over a cross-country fence. Of course in typical Alyssa form, I ignored what hurt and kept pushing. I had a show coming up. Third weekend of May: Otter Creek Spring Horse Trials. Star went beautifully (with only a couple spins and bolts) to complete his first horse trail at beginner novice. Hurts to breathe.
June: Move out of Dubuque apartment to new apartment in Rockford. CPE begins. I start blogging. I throw myself into CPE determined to get to the bottom of what has been weighing me down for too long. It's not only painful emotionally, but it still hurts to breathe. Diagnosed with Costochondritis and given painkillers.
July: Storm flattens Grantsburg. Firetruck delivers water to our horses. I am beside myself being stuck in Rockford while there is chaos back home. A lesson on letting go of control when one doesn't have any in the first place. Painkillers don't work, switched to Prednisone which helps for a day...then the side effects take over. Fail. I begin to struggle with "church" and the discrepancy between what it is and what it could be. AC unit quits working, it's over 90 degrees inside at night.
August: I pull the doorknob off my CPE supervisor's office door. The core of my struggle comes to the surface and I have a few moments of relief before taking on the next leg of the journey: healing. CPE ends with being burned and ripping open some of the healing that had taken place. I move home, preach at Bethany, get in for one round of physical therapy...still hurts to breathe. Pack.
September: Fly to Germany, language course #1 in Bremen. Visit Neuengamme concentration camp and the "horse city" of Verden.
October: Move to Dresden for language course #2. I'm enamored with Dresden's Frauenkirche. Hike to the Bastei bridge in the sandstone mountains of Nationalpark Sächsische Schweiz. Move to Neuendettelsau.
November: Settling into my new room on the campus of Augustana Hochschule. This will be home for the next 9 months. Confused by Bavarian dialect. Start running again...hurts less to breathe. Make Christmas plans.
December: Loving Neuendettelsau and my new friends. Finish up papers for my independent study courses through Wartburg Seminary. Can follow the topic of most conversations but not all the details. Speaking is another can of worms.
Here I am today, the 4th Sunday of Advent. I feel better than I have felt for...as long as I can remember, both physically and emotionally. Though, of course I miss Madelaine and dream about her almost every night. Thursday I begin the journey for Christmas in Jerusalem with Elly and Strickerts. Then I meet Iga on December 30 for a week in Poland. With all of the fun coming up, I can't promise to write until I come back to Neuendettelsau. So, here it is:
Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
Pax. Schalom. Peace.
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