Internship Goes Wild

A few weeks ago I got thrown into my internship work like I never expected. My supervisor left for his sabbatical on June 16. This means I'm getting a taste of what it's like as a solo pastor, minus some of the things I can't do because I'm not yet ordained. Of course there are also a few things that the congregation has stepped up to do that the pastor normally does. Yet, it's given me a nudge (ok, maybe a shove) into my pastoral role. Someone said to me today, "You've really stepped up to be the pastor since your supervisor left." Terrifying. And awesome.

Anyway, he left on the 16th. I had foot surgery on the 17th. For 15 years I've had a bone chip hanging out in my big to joint. Over time it was joined by arthritis and bone spurs. The surgery removed the chip and cleaned up the joint leaving me with a still very inflexible but already pain free joint! I am forever grateful for the congregation which humbled me by taking such care of me while I was out of commission. I didn't stay there long though. I'm a terrible patient, though I tried really, really hard to follow the rules. I do want this procedure to work and be worth all the trouble.



Before

In those first two weeks on my own, foot surgery, and all, I had three deaths. Two were members and one was not a member but was at Gloria Dei when she had her initial heart attack. Again, thankful for the people of Gloria Dei who stepped up to the plate in an emergency.



 

 

 

 

 

 



After

Since all these events, things have settled a bit. I hope it stays that way. My own life has been crazy enough without the addition of crazy work. Great foot news however. This past Monday, July 15 (almost exactly a month after surgery), I got the all-clear to start running again. I've done half a mile three times this past week, very very slowly. The foot feels great, no opposition to running at all. The rest of my body on the other hand...

Then there's the planning for fall back at school. I've got several horse-y jobs lined up. I'll work and ride at Haywire Farms as before as well as doing some Pony Club, teaching and conducting certifications (formerly known as ratings), or skills and knowledge tests for members. I am joining the local Horsemaster's club, which I've heard referred to as "OPPC" meaning "Old People's Pony Club." I will do some of my own riding and competing this fall and hopefully also next summer, depending on the ifs/whens/wheres of receiving a call.

That leads me to the last big crazy of current life. There is a good chance I'll be bringing home another horse. I can't say too much on that now because it's not official and I don't have all the details worked out yet. If it all goes through, she will be a resale project...there's no way I can afford to keep three horses!

I didn't preach this morning but as I was sitting in my pew listening to the sermon, I was convicted. The gospel reading was of Mary and Martha. Martha is busy, busy, busy and distracted while Mary sits at Jesus' feet listening to him teach. Martha gets upset because Mary isn't helping her but Jesus scolds Martha for being distracted and praises Mary for choosing the better thing. Anyway, as I'm sitting there my thoughts go to how when I am leading worship, I am distracted by the details of leading, worrying about where I need to be at when and doing what. I am too distracted to actually participate in what I'm leading. Irony? Yet, the more I do what I do, the less distracted I get, thankfully. And, not to give Martha a bad time, there are things that need to get done. I think it is not a matter of doing the work but what the mind is doing in the process. Leading worship needs to be done. I can't not do it. But I can continue to work on letting go of the worry and distraction.  Is it possible to be Martha and Mary at the same time?

So, with only five weeks of internship left, I am feeling the bittersweet of the approaching good-byes, yet also the excitement of returning to Wartburg for a final year of classes.

Pax.

Dream Fulfilled: Spanish Riding School

And... for the final destination of my trip to Europe in May:

The Spanish Riding School



 

 

I had arrived too late Wednesday evening to purchase tickets to Morning Exercise and the guided tour so I made sure I was at the door when the ticket office opened at 9:00 Thursday morning. With an hour to wait I snooped the gift shop for a bit before we were allowed in the school. Of course having my nose in dressage books in the shop kept me from getting in line and I never did get a seat. Imagine, a building this size with only a very few places to even stand.

 

The School

 

 

The white stallions came and went as riders exercised and schooled each horse.  It was great training for my eye to watch the less advanced horses next to the well schooled, and the less experienced riders next to the more experienced riders.  Some were more correct than others, some just less educated.

 

Morning Exercise

 

 

And, there was a token female rider.  The dynamics between the men and the woman (I think in her late teens) were fascinating as well... in a very sad sort of way.  She was obviously not welcome among the men.  Only in recent years have women been allowed to apply to the SRS. 

 

 

Token woman.

 

Yet, having seen Lippizan performances in the USA and watching "Miracle of the White Stallions" over and over and over again, it has been a life-long (all 27 years!) dream to see the SRS and the Lippizan stallions in Vienna.  And there I was.  Then I got all emotional and choked up as I watched.  So unreal.  And it was far too amazing to follow the "NO PHOTOS" rule.  I got scolded once, but far fewer times than the people standing around me.  "Everyone else is doing it too!"  Ok, so that was bad, but I have some neat pictures of MY OWN.

 

 

Then I spent a small fortune at a little artist's shop down the road.  She had beautiful watercolors of the Lippizans.  I bought enough prints that she gave me a small one free.  Someday I'll have this series of prints framed and hanging on my office wall. 

 

 

 

 

 

Stable area

Stud Muffin in his stall

Stud Muffin II



Tack room... where the tack was NOT Pony Club clean.

 

A day I will never, ever, ever forget.

 

Pax.

"May Term 2013" Days 6-11

 

Whoa! I know, right? Two posts in two days? Don't worry, it probably won't happen again.

May 5-7 - Spend most of May 5 on the train, sad to have said good-bye to Iga. Chug into Wittenberg, Germany mid-afternoon and find my college advisor, Dr. Kleinhans and her May Term class touring the Luther Garden. Spend the next two days wandering Wittenberg with the class and Christian from Colleg Wittenberg, eating, shopping, visiting. Tour the Lutherhaus and Melanchthonhaus. Stay in the youth hostel next to the Castle Church.





Wartburg College group in the Luther Garten

Castle Church



Castle Church doors - 95 Theses!



 







Corpus Christi Chapel where we joined the "Christus
Bruderschaft Selbitz" (Lutheran nuns) for Evening Prayer



Jewish Memorial - response to the Judensau
["The city of Wittenberg contains a Judensau from 1305, on the façade of the Stadkirche, the church where Martin Luther preached.  It portrays a rabbi who looks under the sow's tail, and other Jews drinking from its teats.  An inscription reads 'Rabini Shem hamphoras,' gibberish which presumably bastardizes 'shem ha-meforasch'.  The sculpture is one of the last remaining examples in Germany of 'medieval Jew baiting.'  In 1988, on the occasion of the 50th anniversary of the Kristallnacht, debate sprung up about the monument, which resulted in the addition of a sculpture recognizing that during the Holocaust six million Jews were murdered 'under the sign of the cross'." (Wikipedia)]



Katharina Von Bora, Dr. Kleinhans and me
outside the Lutherhaus



May 8 - I leave Wittenberg early, hopping on a train that will take me to the Czech Republic. I find my way (several trains and an unexpected bus trip later) to the adorable little town Český Krumlov.  Here I met Mandy (something about flying around the world to meet up with a friend from Minnesota??) and her research partner.  We explore Krumlov in the rain, discover gardens, some cute touristy shops, and some amazing food (beer). My journal reminds me that I had eaten nothing that day, until supper, except a Black Espresso Magnum bar (to die for!) and a Snickers. And we got "flashed" by a drunk dude making no attempt to hide anything peeing no-hands-style in the street outside a bar. "Thanks for telling me not to look."

 



Mandy and me!

 

Oh, and some logs. Can't forget the log story. As we are wandering through gardens, we come upon a couple giant hollow logs just sitting there. Of course we decide we must climb in them. In my excitement, something happens and BAM! I'm on my face in the mud puddle. Don't worry, my feet went so high my new shoes stayed clean.

Logs!

Good thing this was my clean outfit.

We drive back to Mandy's place where Mandy and Joey pack up their bird stuff and we crash.

May 9 - Basically a travel day with a bit of time to explore once in Vienna. Back in German speaking territory, I reflect on how much I appreciate the little bit of German skills I have. I pay a small fortune for an amazing Cordon Bleu and a Coke before I get very lost in the dark trying to find my way back to the world's coolest hostel: WOMBATS!

St Stephan's Cathedral

 



"Monument against War and Fascism"



Wombat's hostel.

 

Wombat's kitten.

Coming up next: The Grand Finale!
Pax.

"May Term 2013" Days 2-6

It's been almost 2 months since my trip to Europe and I haven't done any blogging since the first incident in the Eugene airport. Several times I have tried to sit down and write out what happened each day, what I saw, what was interesting, what was funny, and what didn't go as planned. Yet, for whatever reason it's not working. I will give a brief overview of my itinerary and share some of the highlights.
 
[April 29 - Airplanes. See previous post for the beginning of a crazy trip.]
 
April 30 - Land in Frankfurt, catch connecting flight to Vienna. Take bus (under-the-table transaction, I believe) to Budapest and meet Teagan.
 

May 1 - It's May 1. Duh, right? But that means not much is open for the EU holiday. In 8 1/2 hours of exploring on foot, I saw:   
 


Liberty Bridge

Chain Bridge, Air Show, and Országház (Parliament)

Szent Ivlán-barlang (Saint Ivan's Cave)
Now Occupied by the Pauline Order of monks.

Looking up...the path to the Citadella

Promenade along the Danube



Buda Castle from the Danube's Promenade

More air show over the Danube and Parliament

Matthias Fountain

Szabdság Szobor (Liberty Statue)

Budavári Labirintus
(Underground Labyrinth, Buda Castle)




















 



At the end of the day, I spend some time with Teagan and buy a train ticket to Dresden online.

May 2 - 4:00a.m. Taxi driver shows up to take me to the train station where I find out that the ticked I purchased online was for a train that did not exist. Ticket says, "NO REFUNDS" so I buy a new ticket and sit at the train station for 2 hours. New train crosses Slovakia and drops me off in Warsaw, Poland in the middle of the night. I dare not stray too far from the train station, but a walk around the block reveals some neat buildings.

Warsaw Central Station

Palace of Culture and Science

Short on time, I try to get a ticket from the machine to Gorzów. Machine won't take my credit card. Very nice lady at customer service desk gives me a ticket. "What time does this train leave?" Answer, "1800." My reply, "But it's 18:02." Then I get sent to a different service desk. On the way, I decide to try the ticket machine again. This time it works. Only I the ticket I buy is to somewhere that looks a lot like "Gorzów", but is indeed, not Gorzów. Should have just gone to the other desk. Eventually, I end up with a ticket to, yes, Gorzów that departs at 23:20. 
 

I think this was a mall...

May 3 - I arrive in Gorzów at 6:30a.m. and Iga meets me at the station shortly after. Uffda. Iga, her family, and I hang out, chatting and eating. Go for a walk in the woods to find a lake. I think we found it. Iga and I argue about dressage. I crash on the chair-bed at 9:00, never to notice everyone else jabbering away around me, going to bed, or getting up in the morning. Thirteen hours later everyone is sitting around jabbering just like when I went to sleep. SLEEEEEEEP. It's been a while.





Looking for the lake.

May 4 - Zoo and flower shop adventure. Iga, her mom, sister-in-law, and I look at critters of all sorts and play on the playground where I proceed to miss the swing Iga is on and sit in the dirt. Wipeout #1 of the trip.

 




How can you resist the urge to snuggle this?

 

 

Enough for tonight.
Pax.

"May Term 2013" Day 1

Well, the trip hasn't exactly started yet.  It has.  And it hasn't.  I'll start off with the events that led up to this 2-week trip.  Getting involved with a German boy, I bought a ticket to visit back last fall.  By the time flight time came around, we were no longer a couple so I cancelled the flight.  That left me with the ticket to rebook and use within 10 months of purchasing... August of 2013.  As awesome as internship is, I began with 2 weeks of vacation time and I saved the majority of those days to go with this ticket to Europe.  Since 3 of my friends would also be in various parts of Europe these first weeks of May, I figured, why not?  An hour on the phone with a poor woman I couldn't understand and who couldn't understand me finally re booked the ticket for April 29 - May 10.

My lovely church ladies picked me up at 6:15 sharp this morning and we made the drive to the Eugene airport.  I checked in and proceeded through security with only a minor pat-down and running my backpack through the scanner twice.  Boarding time came and when I made it to the gate, I was turned away, "You don't have a seat."  Oh... ok. Now what?  No seat for the intern.  With a slight bit of irritation, I made a conscious decision to remain patient and polite as the plane loaded and departed...without me.  "What is your final destination?"  "Vienna."  *Attendants' chins hit floor in a silent "Ooops."*

Now I'm still sitting here in the Eugene, OR airport waiting for my next chance at getting on a plane, only a couple hours later than the first.  The Eugene Marathon took place this past weekend and I'm watching runners swarming the airport with their awesome t-shirts.  Duh, I'm jealous!  I want a Eugene Marathon T!  But... I'm sitting here with a messed up foot consuming extremely unhealthy voucher-purchased food. 

With little planning, I'm not exactly sure where I'm spending my first night in Europe this time, and I really don't care that I don't have a plan.  Something will happen.  I have a general outline of where I want to go and in what order.  I will land in Vienna, proceed to Budapest, Hungary where I will meet Teagan, a friend I met at my first Goethe German course in September 2011.  Then I hope to train it across Slovakia to Krakow where I will take in Krakow's Plaszów concentration camp and Oświęcim's Auschwitz II-Birkenau memorial and museum.  From there, I'll meet Iga if I can figure out how to get a train to Gorzów Wielkopolski. A couple days with Iga and then on to Wittenberg, Germany where I'll find Dr. Kleinhans and her May Term class.  The last few days of my trip will be some combination of visiting Mandy in the Czech Republic and scouting out the Spanish Riding School back in Vienna.

Lots more to write about... about the latest life events.  Grief.  Horses.  Oh, and internship.  ... next time.

Pax.

Mindfulness

For the 384th time, I haven't blogged for a long time. Only this time I'm not going to say I'll try to do better...because I won't! Might as well be honest with myself, and you.

Internship continues to go well and I continue to push myself (in some areas I push myself to NOT push myself quite so hard). Preaching goes... teaching is fun. I enjoy it. The visits are wonderful. Worship is wonderful. Just this past week I met with my internship committee over our mid-year evaluations. I think I survived. "Cryptic" was my favorite comment. Still not sure what that's supposed to mean.

The big reason I sat down to write is Lent. I've taken on some ridiculous Lent "disciplines" mostly in the line of giving something up. Pop one year. Chocolate another year. My cell phone. Shopping. Every one of these things has changed me or made me more aware of something in myself one way or another. This year, however, mindfulness has been on my mind. Not only for myself, but also for Zoe. I'm tired of being pushed around, stepped on, tripped over, fingers grabbed instead of a treat. I can't blame Zoe for the fact that her brain goes 6000000000000000000000 miles an hour and that her body clumsily follows behind. She IS a thoroughbred off the track after all. Who knows what crap she's been through, how much stress she's dealt with, and what fears and anxieties she has. Lots. But it doesn't have to be that way. So.... we're doing this mindfulness thing together, though I'm not sure she knows that yet.

Day 1 of mindfulness
It takes Zoe and me 30 minutes to get from the barn to the last gate before trail ride begins. She spins, pulls, and kicks at me several times between barn and the gate where I will actually get in the saddle. Pretty sure we are both still sore from that day.

Day 2 lesson day
I am more at ease in my mind than I have been for the previous few lessons. Zoe on the other hand... The instructor says, "She's trotting on eggshells." And a bit later, "She looks like she could be explosive."

Day 3 Pooped
After a very long and exhausting day at work that began at 6:15 Friday morning plus mowing the grass (I know, SOOOO weird to mow in February!) and sweeping the driveway and car port, I went out to ride only to find myself in another situation of visiting/counseling/listening to crisis to a person hurting greatly. When I finally arrived at the barn, I gave Zoe her supper and gave her a good grooming and some cuddles focusing on being calm, intentional, and present. Enough for the day.

The goal here is for both Zoe and me to think before we act, speak, step, or fling our bodies wildly in random directions. For Zoe to meet "her" goal, I must first take steps toward mine. Paying attention to my breathing. Being aware of what I am doing, how, and why. Intentionality. As we move from Ash Wednesday and the reminder of our coming deaths with Christ on the cross through this season of Lent, my understanding of what it means to be mindful will change and grow. What it means for me to be mindful... what it means for a thoroughbred to be mindful...

Slow down. Be present. Calm. Losgelassenheit. Pax.