Last Post of the Year

Final papers are done.  A short essay and an annotated bibliography are all that is left for the next few days.  In a week, I'll be in Jerusalem.  It's hard to believe that so much has happened and so much time has gone by so fast. 

This entire past year has been full of new experiences, realizations, ups and downs, and hard work.  Just for fun, the year in brief:

January:  I frantically finished the first (ever!) final papers I didn't get turned in on time and needed to request extensions. I was on the "moving forward and up" out of a pretty low point in life.  Three weeks in Guyana for J-term, me and four guys.  What an experience.  Reverse culture shock left me dazed and confused for several weeks.  The first morning back in my Dubuque bed I woke up going, "Why am I so #*@& cold?!"  before I opened my eyes to the reality that it was below zero instead of cooling off to 85 at night.

February:  Back to school.  Back to work at Haywire.  Trying to deal with the ups and downs and being somewhat more willing to talk about it with others.  Making plans for a possible year in Germany while at the same time making sure I had everything in order in the event that Germany plans did not work out.  Looking toward a summer of CPE.

March and April:  School and work.  Back into the routine.  Spending lots and lots of time with Iga and loving it!

May:  Finish up classes.  Everything on time this semester.  Relatively happy with grades, with the exception of Hebrew because I goofed around and had fun on an exam instead of taking it as seriously as I could have.  It was worth it.  Somewhere around the second week of the month, I took an unplanned dismount off a horse over a cross-country fence. Of course in typical Alyssa form, I ignored what hurt and kept pushing. I had a show coming up. Third weekend of May:  Otter Creek Spring Horse Trials.  Star went beautifully (with only a couple spins and bolts) to complete his first horse trail at beginner novice.  Hurts to breathe.

June:  Move out of Dubuque apartment to new apartment in Rockford.  CPE begins.  I start blogging.  I throw myself into CPE determined to get to the bottom of what has been weighing me down for too long.  It's not only painful emotionally, but it still hurts to breathe.  Diagnosed with Costochondritis and given painkillers.

July:  Storm flattens Grantsburg.  Firetruck delivers water to our horses.  I am beside myself being stuck in Rockford while there is chaos back home.  A lesson on letting go of control when one doesn't have any in the first place.  Painkillers don't work, switched to Prednisone which helps for a day...then the side effects take over.  Fail.  I begin to struggle with "church" and the discrepancy between what it is and what it could be. AC unit quits working, it's over 90 degrees inside at night.

August:  I pull the doorknob off my CPE supervisor's office door.  The core of my struggle comes to the surface and I have a few moments of relief before taking on the next leg of the journey:  healing.  CPE ends with being burned and ripping open some of the healing that had taken place.  I move home, preach at Bethany, get in for one round of physical therapy...still hurts to breathe.  Pack.

September:  Fly to Germany, language course #1 in Bremen.  Visit Neuengamme concentration camp and the "horse city" of Verden.

October:  Move to Dresden for language course #2.  I'm enamored with Dresden's Frauenkirche.  Hike to the Bastei bridge in the sandstone mountains of Nationalpark Sächsische Schweiz.  Move to Neuendettelsau.

November:  Settling into my new room on the campus of Augustana Hochschule.  This will be home for the next 9 months.  Confused by Bavarian dialect.  Start running again...hurts less to breathe.  Make Christmas plans.

December:  Loving Neuendettelsau and my new friends.  Finish up papers for my independent study courses through Wartburg Seminary.  Can follow the topic of most conversations but not all the details.  Speaking is another can of worms.

Here I am today, the 4th Sunday of Advent.  I feel better than I have felt for...as long as I can remember, both physically and emotionally.  Though, of course I miss Madelaine and dream about her almost every night.  Thursday I begin the journey for Christmas in Jerusalem with Elly and Strickerts.  Then I meet Iga on December 30 for a week in Poland.  With all of the fun coming up, I can't promise to write until I come back to Neuendettelsau.  So, here it is:

Merry Christmas and Happy New year!

Pax.  Schalom.  Peace.

Just for Fun

In honor of my little sister, Chloe.

I haven't figured out what relative my zebra socks go with, unless there's someone I haven't heard about yet...

Chloe trying to make sense of my Lutheran Confessions final paper outline.

Sleeping in Grandma's lap at The Lake.

Helping Mom with her cross-stitch.

I sitz on ur sermon.

Third Sunday in Advent

"I used to be very fond of thinking up and buying presents, but now that we have nothing to give, the gift God gave us in the birth of Christ will seem all the more glorious."  

This quote comes from a letter Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote to his fiancee.  It is dated December 1, 1943, his 8th month in the Tegel military prison.

http://www.adventconspiracy.org/

These are some pretty powerful challenges to us.  I am forever confronted by the craziness of the Christmas season.  What Bonhoeffer throws in our faces is the fact that we lose our appreciation of Christmas and God's gift to us because we are so focused on buying stuff, losing stuff, finding stuff, wrapping stuff, delivering stuff...that we get CRANKY as can be.  We forget the real gift.  And, not only are we forgetting the real gift, we generally are not giving real gifts.  We spend too much time being frantic and grumpy to 

                              give of our time

                                          to worship

            to love. 

We spend money and energy in buying something, often just for the sake of something, to give someone.

The clip from Advent Conspiracy challenges us to

give a gift as real as Jesus. 

What if we gave life to others?

This Third Sunday of Advent, may you be challenged to be still and at peace through the expectant waiting for God's gift to us.  May you stop and take a breath when you find yourself so caught up in buying, wrapping, cleaning, cooking that you become irritated by everyone who asks for your attention.  May this message make you uncomfortable.

Second Sunday of Advent

Today we enter the second week of waiting and watching, the second week of Advent.

"Does this stable make my butt look big?"

The following is part of a poem in "From Advent's Alleluia to Easter's Morning Light" by Presbyterian elder, Ann Weems:


The Word of God
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.... All things were made through the Word, and without the Word was not anything made that was made.


In a wave of wonder,
in an extravaganza of imagination,
in a roar of deafening waters,
in a drum roll of thunder,
God said let there be Light!
and the dazzling sun of Day made her entrance,
singing her song of Life.
Then in a stunning display of fireworks,
lightning leaping in bolts,
stars hurling through ink black sky,
moon floating above,
the Light of Night took her bow.
The stage was set.
Right from the beginning
the Word was there,
with God.
The Word was God.
And without the Word not anything
was made that was made.
Day and Night,
darkness and light,
waters and land,
trees and living plants,
animals and birds,
and people,
all created by God.
Right from the beginning
the Word of God
was spoken in miracles.
Right from the beginning,
in the light of God's love,
the people of God
were created for
covenant keeping.
I will be your God
and you will be my people.
Right from the beginning
The Word was Love
and the Word was Light
and the Word was Life.
Right from the beginning
God's people were invited
to walk in the way of the Word.
God saw that it was good.
It was very good.
Until, that is, somebody
left the door open in paradise,
and Death walked on stage
and turned off the light.
Somebody or somebodies thought
they didn't have to listen to God,
thought they didn't need
to keep covenant.
Call them by whatever names you like:
Adam, Eve, the neighborhood snake;
it's all the same.
God's people had been entrusted
with earth and stars
and all living things,
and yet it wasn't enough.
Something gnawed away
at the souls of God's people
and they broke covenant...
right there in the beginning...
and again...
     and again...
          and again.
Somebody or somebodies
wanted to be in charge.
Somebody or somebodies
wanted to be God.
Somebody or somebodies
didn't like the diversity.
They wanted everybody
to be like they were.
Killing was born
and hatred
and greed
and deception
and suspicion
and hard-heartedness
and mean-spiritedness
and distrust
and power grabbing
and jealousy
and prejudice.
The people of God
had chosen Death
instead of Life.
God was grieved to the heart.
Return to me, God said.
Over and over and over again
Return to me.
God sent prophets
to tell the people
to return to God,
but just as Cain hated Abel,
the people in the world
hated each other
and wars began
and God's people
still would not return,
return to covenant living
return to the way of life
that God had offered.
God asked for justice
and mercy and
humbleness,
but the people of the world
wanted justice for themselves
and mercy for themselves
and anything but humbleness.
God had promised not
to send another flood.
Besides God loved the people still
even though they walked in darkness,
so God sent a great Light,
the Word of God Incarnate.


God is coming to us.  We wait and watch for the coming of the incarnate Word of God...in a manger.


Pax.

On Friday, I wore my relatively worn-out Carhartt jeans.  When I walked into a store, the lady took one look at me and said, "Suchen Sie Hose?" It made me laugh.